Transition Report

Posted by Jeremy Bornstein

 

The first day the articling students return to work is a glorious day in the life of a summer student. It reminds me of the last day of exams. The grass is greener, the air is fresher and the sun is hotter. This year’s articling class, however, seems more eager than the last. They are making every effort to take on as much work as possible, leaving the summer students with nothing to do. The result has been abysmal.

For example, summer student, Luke Gill, has been outraged by the turn of events. After being harassed to pass on his files, he has demanded to work late nights until the last day of his term. He threatened one articling student, “You want my work? My work? No! It’s your turn to be lazy, I chilled my brains out at the beginning of the summer and now I just want to learn.” Following this comment, several articling students proceeded to docket 45 minutes to “Set up voicemail.”

Other summer students, on the other hand, did not have the same resolve as Mr. Gill. One student, who asked to remain anonymous lamented, “I sent myself mail. Actually. I put it in an envelope for delivery and acted surprised when I got it. I miss feeling important. I miss the thrill of a deadline. I can’t. This is too much.” This particular summer student’s work was stolen by an articling student during a bathroom break. She now sits in an office all day chit chatting and dilly dallying, overcome by guilt every time the internet browser opens to a new page.

When asked about the situation, first year summer student, Laura McGee, who left last Friday stated, “I knew this would happen. I couldn’t handle the pressure of doing nothing all day, so I bounced.”

Alas, other summer students have maintained a steady load. They have enjoyed the thrills of down time without the chills of a workless wasteland. This ultimate balance is a sacred art, which only the most advanced summer students possess. I asked Bryan Woodman how he reached this summer student utopia. He responded, “I just discovered Nestea.” 

Yet another sad tale of surrender

Note: Just kidding!

 

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