Cassels Brock does Medieval Times

by guest blogger Luke Gill

Two Thursdays ago, the CBB summer students went out to Medieval Times after work for some drinks and general good times. The night had a pretty normal start, with Stephen Henderson being knighted to celebrate his birthday.

Then Cait and I ran into a guy who had just caught a pigeon outside, or something, and was really excited and wanted to take pictures with us. Also perfectly normal.

 

As I tried to ignore the squeals of the hundred or so pre-teens that surrounded us, I began to realize that the whole set-up seemed very familiar to me. And then it hit me: Medieval Times is basically Game of Thrones.

Above, we have Jaime Lannister (aka, Chris Selby) and Robb Stark (aka, Jared Puterman) drinking flagons of mead at Winterfell before the war begins. Oh, Robb – so happily naive.

Here we have the dashing Jamie Lannister once again, this time joined by Jon Snow, (aka, Kyle Simpson) and Tyrion the Imp (aka, Belinda Chiu). While Jon is wondering who his mom is, Jaime and Tyrion are thinking about how much they love/hate their evil sister, Cersei, as seen below.

Behold, the murderous Sir Gregor Clegane! (aka, Justin Dick) (If you don’t believe me, look at JD’s profile pic to the right.)

You may have noticed that in this version of Game of Thrones everyone wears paper crowns. That’s actually how George RR Martin wrote it in the books, but HBO cut it out for the show.

King’s Landing is a rowdy place.

Here we capture the raw of emotion of Arya Stark (aka, Clara Lee) as she witnesses her father Ned Stark being beheaded. Arya will dearly miss late night milkshake runs in Winterfell with her father, Lord Stark (aka, me).

Below, we have Sansa Stark (aka, Brittany Moloney), giving her father some serious attitude when all he wanted to do was take a nice picture of her watching the joust. This is exactly why no one likes the Sansa character, by the way.

At some point someone died, I think. It may or may not have been related to Sansa being terrible.

Meanwhile, Little Ms. Self-Entitled, Sansa, got named the Queen of Love and Beauty. Ugh.

Okay, now I feel bad for making Brittany be Sansa. Here’s some low-quality action photos of Loras Tyrell beating on another knight.

After winning in glorious battle, Sir Loras poses with (from left to right): Margery Tyrell (aka, Steph Voudouris), Caitlyn Stark (aka, Cait Waring), Arya, Daenerys Targaryen (aka, Tali Lewin), Tyrion and Sansa.

The beautiful Daenerys with her baby dragons (not pictured: baby dragons).

Everyone’s favourite party animal, King Robert (aka, Jeremy Bornstein), with the always friendly Hodor (aka Noah Dolgoy).

King Robert was obviously partying way too hard and popped a bottle of champagne at Medieval Times. (WHO DOES THAT?!) Varys (aka, Stephen) and Littlefinger (aka, Jake Goldberg) are decidedly amused.

Then, at some point, 30% of the cast died and the survivors went out to a bar for a wholesome and professional night of fun.

THE END.

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